Not in the Closet
by Sparks and Sharps
Summary: Erika wishes Kadota would admit his true feelings, preferably to Walker. Kadota wishes Erika would shut her damn mouth. Oneshot.


_This was originally an untitled kink meme fill I wrote for the prompt: Erika/Kadota - GTFO the closet, Dotachin. Minor edits have been made between the two versions_

_In case you have no idea what Erika's talking about (which is entirely possible), bara is homoerotic art and fiction geared towards gay men (as opposed to yaoi, which is geared mostly towards straight women), and Hard Gay is...well, just look him up on youtube. Preferably not at work. Also, Chikage is a book-only character that Erika has vocally shipped with Kadota._

_Edit: After reading a couple of reviews,** I would like to make a request that you don't post a review along the lines of "I'm glad that you think Kadota is straight." **For starters, I don't (long story short is that I hold that fictional characters can be any sexuality that hasn't been explicitly disproven by canon, from asexual to pansexual - Schrodinger's Orientation, if you will). Second, suggesting that straight!Kadota is somehow better or less gross than gay!Kadota is pretty damn offensive to me, given that I'm gay (well, bi. About a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale) myself. **This isn't a "Kadota isn't gay" fic. It's a "Erika needs to stop asking her friends to make out for her enjoyment" fic.**_

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"You're totally not straight. You know that, Dotachin."

Technically speaking, it's not possible to do a spit-take with sushi. Kadota did anyways. It took him a full thirty seconds of choking afterward before he could manage a proper response.

"..._What?_"

Erika simply went on as if she didn't just receive a face full of rice and vinegar. "It's totally true! Seriously, just look at the way you ogle Iza-Iza's ass whenever you think nobody's looking. You know what I'm talking about, right Yumacchi?"

"Please leave me out of this, Karisawa-san."

"Whatever. The point, Dotachin, is that you're gayer than Hard Gay in a bara doujin, and staying in the closet is only going to damage your psyche more."

Okay, that did it. Kadota was rarely ever amused with Erika's rampant yaoi fangirl tendencies in the first place, but now it was just getting _stupid_.

"You know what, Karisawa? Prove it."

"And you totally scream Chikage's name when you-Wait, what?"

"If you're so damn certain than I'm gay," said Kadota, certain he could finally get Erika to shut up, "and you're not just trying to justify that sickass me-slash-Chikage fanfic you emailed me last week – seriously, _what the fuck is wrong with you? – _Then how about you prove it?"

Given the surprised look, Erika was not expecting Kadota to say that. Kadota felt like congratulating himself until that look of shock turned into an excited and slightly-twisted grin – then Kadota felt like kicking himself in the face for even opening his damn trap.

"Very well, I will! Yumacchi, make out with Dotachin!" she said.

It was now Walker's turn to choke on sushi. "What the fuck? _No!_"

"Dammit, you're no fun." Erika frowned a bit, but only just a bit. She then went right back to that evil grin. Dammit. "I guess we'll just have to disprove the negative then!"

"What is that supposed to-MMPH!"

Kadota didn't finish his sentence before Erika dove across the table, throwing both of them out of their seats, and kissed him.

...No, it wasn't just kissing. She was also doing something weird with her hands under his shirt. And he wasn't quite sure what she was doing with her legs down there –- or _how_, for that matter –- but it was really starting to-

Erika stopped almost as quickly as she had started – as if she didn't just spontaneously molest him in the middle of a Russian sushi restaurant. She stood up, took one look at the bulge in his pants and said, "..._Fuck!_"

...

Kadota could only thank God that there wasn't anyone else at the restaurant today. He didn't want people talking about this, and he really didn't want to know _what _Chief Chef would force him to eat if they scared off any of the customers with that little show of theirs.

As for Walker, he simply buried his face in his palm.

"...Okay, so maybe I underestimated my ability to turn people on. He can still be bi, you know."


End file.
